Remnants of Grace

Procrastination gets a bad rap. I understand that it is more than not doing anything.

I cleaned the microwave. Should I have been cleaning the microwave? No. When I removed the turntable, I saw my desk set up for the day.

It was Instagram-perfect. Sunshine streaming through the windows. A golden glow Illuminated my fully charged tablet. A steaming cup of green tea sits beside my paper brimming with ideas. I have been planning for this day. Marked it on the calendar in pen. All I had to do was sit down. Instead, I got some Q-tips to get into the corners of the microwave. 

Was I procrastinating?

Was I expecting company later? No. Did my snack from last night explode? No. Procrastination was rearing its head. 

It’s weird. The projects sitting on my desk were things I wished I had more time to do. These are tasks that keep me up at night thinking about how how to present them. They energize me when I sit down to work on them. 

I look forward to the high of feeling empowered, satisfied, and accomplished when I look at the completed tasks. Instead, I discovered the vent under the microwave comes off and got it to soaking. 

Was I procrastinating? 

Yes. I was putting off what I had planned to do. Cleaning a small appliance was nowhere on my to-do list. It wasn’t even dirty. The only “chore” that needed completing was sitting down at my desk to create content. I was procrastinating.

Or was I procrastinating? 

I put my time and energy into something beneficial. I will not have to clean the microwave again for at least five months. It is that clean. 

Cleaning the microwave

Why didn’t I just sit down at my desk and get to work on my to-do list? Because I was unsure that I was able to do it well. I know I’m still learning. I often need help from my husband (he’s my editor and tech support). Once self-doubt sets in so does frustration.

When I become frustrated, it throws me into a downward emotional spiral. A quick win like broom sweeping, or rearranging my knickknacks helps to reset my thoughts. Simple, “effortless” things that I do well. Once I see these easy wins completed, my motivation returns. My confidence is rebuilt. 

Over the years I have learned this is my method of how I make progress on what I “should” be doing. I need to make sure my self-doubt at the moment will not hold me back. Nothing holds me back more than sitting in my own stew of emotions. I would rather move forward on another non-priority than ruin the success of something that is very important to me. 

I have graciously accepted that I procrastinate. It is how I get things done. That is ok.



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